🔗 Share this article

‘I remain a quiet soul,’ the Swedish champion says with a wry smile. This could qualify as the modest description of the era. Borg, the most dominant tennis star of his time, took 42 years remaining silent from he declared his exit at the age of 26.

After he delivered that update in 1983, it was among the biggest surprises in the record of competition. Not simply because he was at his peak, but also because he was the rock star tennis player – beautiful, enigmatic and followed by a crowd of adoring fans.

Borg was actually only 25 when he left major tournaments in 1981. That season, he had competed in three of the four grand slam finals, claiming victory in the French Open and being defeated at Wimbledon and the US Open. Altogether he won Wimbledon men’s singles five times in a row – a record matched only by Roger Federer – and six French Opens.

And then he was gone, silently. His fans were traumatised. However, maybe they weren’t surprised at the lack of an justification. The Swede was the disciplined force of tennis – incredibly strong, disciplined and almost silent. The unflappable champion never showed emotion on court, but many believed there was a turmoil raging inside. And so it proved.

At the age of 69 he has finally written his memoir, titled Heartbeats, and it addresses the mysteries fans wondered for the best part of half a century. It includes revelation after revelation, and is particularly shocking for the understated style in which it is written. Drugs, intoxication, hopelessness, life-threatening overdoses, broken relationships, shame and self-imposed exile: among Borg fan, it’s a emotional read.

The champion recounts how he avoided talking in the old days. It clarifies the fact that so limited TV interviews are available of him. He attempted his hand at commentary, but that turned out to be a brief career when he stayed in silence.

‘I am an extremely private person,’ he says. ‘Plus, I’m a very strong-willed person.’ That stubbornness, or self-control, was at the heart of his success – persevering, never giving in to emotion, never indulging temptation. It was also at the heart of his mistakes – refusing to mix with his former tennis friends after he left, rejecting to use new turbocharged rackets when he temporarily returned in 1991, and neglecting to explain why he retired in the first place.

What prompted has he decided to tell his story now? ‘I was weighed down by me for many years. The public sees me as a tennis player, but not what I went through. The decisions I took in my life were stupid, so I wanted to tell that story.’

Some years ago he asked his third wife, Patricia Östfeld, with whom he has been with for 23 years, if she would work with him to write the book. ‘It meant a lot she said yes as if she hadn’t, this book would never have come out. I would have kept my story to the grave.’

Borg adored tennis in the beginning – not just the success, but the competition itself. But by 25 he was burnt out. ‘Up to that point I was totally focused on my tennis. I was training, resting, competing, playing matches. And I loved it. I had a fantastic time.’ So what happened? ‘I lacked motivation.’

In time, his desire had gone, he was unhappy and had become divorced from his roots. He moved away from Sweden and was living as a expatriate in Monte Carlo. The champion was a idol to some in Sweden, and a avoiding taxes figure to others.

What actually led, he says, is that he felt he no longer had a balance. ‘In hotels when I checked in there were at least 100 people in public areas wanting autographs. If I went to a restaurant there would be 15 paparazzi outside waiting and pursuing me. In the end, when I was playing I just stayed in my room. I ate in my room. I didn’t go out. This is why I stepped away from tennis. I thought: ‘Is this be my life in the future?’ That was the reason I said it’s time to stop.’

Initially of retirement was positive, he says. He did exactly what he wanted, and loved it. He moved to America, lived on Long Island, New York, and went out. And then he enjoyed himself some more. But he realised something was lacking – the buzz that tennis had given him. Later of 1982, he was introduced to cocaine. ‘I said to myself, ‘Oh, this is a new feeling. This is a separate thing.’’

Unfortunately, Borg says now, he had nothing to fill his life with. ‘I felt content to step away from tennis, I could do anything, but I didn’t have a strategy.’ He was still battling with depression. ‘There comes a time where you ask yourself, ‘OK, what do I do now to be happy? To have fulfillment, to feel good about myself, to feel good about life? I want to have the same feeling I had when I played tennis.’ I was adrift.’

He handled it the wrong way. He started taking additional cocaine, mixing it with uppers and downers and alcohol. He and his first wife divorced in 1984, and in 1985 he became a parent to a son, Robin. He says Robin was the only good thing that happened to him in the 1980s. But he was in no state to be a good father, and was moving from relationship to relationship. He continued to indulge excessively.

When did he realise it was harming him? ‘In 1989, when I took the choice to start to play tennis again. I knew I couldn’t continue to live a life like this. I needed to find something else.’

In 1989, unsubstantiated stories circulated that he had tried to end his life. Borg says this was incorrect. Although he was in a dark place and no longer saw the point in living, he never intentionally tried to end his life. But that February an accidental overdose almost proved fatal. When his then-wife couldn’t wake him, she called an ambulance. It saved his life.

However, he did not learned his lesson. Once he recovered, it was returning to the drugs, pills and alcohol. Eventually, he realised that he had to make a complete break – from his environment, Milan and a lifestyle that was destroying him. In 1990, for the first time in eight years, he held a racket. ‘I thought, ‘Did I really play this sport before?’ I played so terribly, it was laughable.’

Subsequently, at the age of 34 and almost a decade after quitting, he declared he was returning from retirement. That was when he returned with his tiny outdated racket. His professional comeback was as unrealistic as it was touching. He competed against Jordi Arrese, a Spaniard placed 52nd in the world, and lost 6-2, 6-3.

Borg recalls the Monte Carlo match was one of his most meaningful days on a tennis court, placing it alongside his fifth successive Wimbledon triumph. ‘Following the match, I’m sitting in the back seat of the car and my parents are in the front, and they see me and they say, ‘You look so happy.’ Yes, I was so happy and content. It was a great moment coming after all the things I had been through.’

What was that reason? He goes back to his final days in Milan. ‘I realized if I continued with this sort of life I’m not going to make it. If I had continued, you and me, we would not be talking to each other today. So I said, ‘It’s essential to do something that makes me happy, something that makes me feel at ease with myself. I need to wake up in the morning to do something and have a purpose.’ So I said to myself, ‘Yes, I’m going to start to play tennis again.’’

So you didn’t come back to win – you came back to stay alive? ‘Exactly,’ he says calmly. ‘To stay alive, indeed.’ Between 1991 and 1993, he played 12 professional matches and lost